MEET THE AUTHOR
Mary E. Barnes, Author of This Way Forward
SMALL STEPS
My adult daughter, who lives with disabilities, goes through seasons of challenges that test every ounce of my patience, strength, and resilience. It feels like life piles on more than I can possibly carry - sleepless nights, endless appointments, constant advocacy, and responsibilities that never take a break.
And yet, life doesn’t stop.
There are bills to pay. A household to run. Deadlines to meet. People counting on me to show up, even when I feel drained and stretched thin.
Some mornings, I want nothing more than to stay under the covers and let the world wait. But life doesn’t pause just because I’m struggling.
In those moments, I ask myself a question that has become my lifeline:
WHO DO I WANT TO BE IN THIS?
That question pulls me back to what matters. Even in the hardest moments, I still have a choice.
I can choose to show up with love, even when I’m tired.
I can give myself permission to do less and focus on what truly matters.
I can take the smallest step forward and still call it progress.
Most importantly, I can let my values - not my exhaustion - guide how I move through it.
CONSISTENT PRESENCE
Showing up when life is hard doesn’t mean ignoring my feelings or pretending everything is fine. It means honoring where I am and still choosing to take one small step in the direction of who I want to be.
Some days, showing up means making the phone calls, preparing the meals, and checking
things off the to-do list. Other days, it means simply helping my daughter through her morning routine - brushing her teeth, getting her dressed, and knowing that, for today, that’s enough. Both matter. Both count.
The world often glorifies consistency as if it means performing at full capacity every single day. But that isn’t resilience - that’s burnout waiting to happen.
Real resilience is adjusting expectations without abandoning values. It’s recognizing that progress doesn’t always come in big leaps. Sometimes it comes in small steps, and those steps still move us in the right direction.
IMPERFECT STILL COUNTS
For a long time, I thought I had to hold it all together before I could keep going. Now I know
that waiting for perfect conditions only keeps me stuck.
The parent who shows up imperfectly still makes more impact than the one who waits until
everything looks polished. The caregiver who keeps showing up with love, even when exhausted, is stronger than they realize.
So, when the days feel heavy, I remind myself:
I don’t have to be great to get started, but I do have to get started to become great.
And sometimes, starting looks like guiding my daughter through her day and telling myself,
“This counts. I count.”
Because it isn’t perfection that carries us forward - it’s presence.
The work of carrying so much - juggling responsibilities, love, and exhaustion - is rarely seen, but it matters more than words can capture. Some days it may feel like holding things together is all you can manage, and that alone is a quiet victory. Showing up in whatever way you can is enough. Every effort counts, every step forward matters, and there is strength in simply continuing on.
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That’s how I keep going. Not by doing it all, but by doing what I can, and trusting that every step - whether big or small—is still moving us forward – This Way Forward.